How to Forgive When You are Still Angry (Loving Your Enemies)

Emotions can drive us to do what's right, or they can hurt us - and consume us. Hate is a powerful and dangerous state to be in and our anger can bring us to hate one another. But some people, no matter how many times you forgive them, keep hurting you - they still make you angry. So, how can you forgive someone when you are still angry?

Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying you're ok with their actions. It also doesn't mean you have to reconcile with them. Forgiving someone means that you love them despite their actions. And loving someone, including your enemies, means you want good things for them. If this is your goal for them then you will not be consumed with hatred.

Forgiveness is not justice or what our enemies deserve, but we must stop playing judge and let them out of the prison in our heads in order to forgive.

This is a lot to unpack and might seem impossible, but in this article we will go over what the Bible says about forgiveness, and how God loves us - even when He's angry. Also, we will go over what psychologists say about how forgiveness effects our lives and how it effects the people around us.

Pray for your enemies.

First thing you should do is pray for the person hurting you. Additionally, think about how you don't want them to suffer. I know this can be hard at first. Our natural instinct is to hurt those who hurt us, but Jesus says to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.

Praying for them and loving them, means we can't hate them. It means when they try to hurt us, we can stop that hurt short and turn it around rather than allowing it to hurt us more and fill our hearts with hate and negativity.

Matthew 5: 43- 45 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.

God Forgives Us and Wants Us All to Go to Heaven

All throughout the Old Testament we see examples of God's people turning their back on God and living awful and sinful lives. And yes, God often struck them down, or sent them into captivity, but even when His people were living in sin, he still left His hand stretched out for them to take. He gave them prophets, judges, kings, and miracles to help them understand that He was there. He is always there to show us the way back to Him and to one day have our eternal reward.

We should do the same. Even when people in our lives hurt us, we should still want them to do what's right and be in Heaven one day. If that is our goal for our enemies, it will be harder for our anger to take control.

​2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,[a] not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

Why is Forgiveness Important?

Even if you are not religious, forgiveness has been proven to improve mental health. As a matter of fact, studies have shown that people who practice forgiveness regularly have a lower mortality rate, have less anxiety and depression, and have fewer major mental disorders.

The amount of physical and mental benefits from forgiveness are numerous. There are entire books and articles dedicated to the topic. A topic that has been studied and tested by many scientists and professional phycologist.

Why is Forgiveness so Difficult?

Forgiveness does not come naturally. It has natural benefits, but it takes self control and practice to achieve. Just like forcing yourself to study, or do a job you don't like because you know there are benefits that you hope will come from it.

"Without our deserving it, we can experience thunderous injustices. The injury was unfair, the person who created it was unfair. But now we have a place for healing," -Enright, R.D.

Final Thoughts

Forgiveness takes strength and healing, but it is achievable. If you need more help, read God's Word. Look up scriptures that talk about forgiveness. Simply being reminded how and why you can forgive will help. Additionally, meditate on good things to replace the negative thoughts. And don't forget to pray!